Oh but then Satan. Satan has a way of making that self doubt come back. It’s generally through someone else. Although sometimes it’s through my own mistakes. But wow did he hit me hard this last week.
People have so much hate. It’s like they see someone down and they can’t keep themselves from enjoying the hurt that person is in. And it even makes them want to make it worse for that person. Why? I don’t know maybe it makes them feel better about themselves to have someone feeling worse than they do? Maybe jealousy?
I’m sure many people saw the nasty comments left on my blog post. I’m sure many people laughed at them. I’m sure many people told others to look (especially the one that posted them). I did respond once but to the 4 or 5 other comments that were left I didn’t even read them. The first one was enough to make me question myself again. It was enough to make me doubt who I thought I had become. I didn’t need to read the rest. All I got from the comments was that for years my husband was trashing me to other people. For years nothing good that I did was noticed. That instead of being my partner my husband was making me out to be a monster. Behind my back. I didn’t even know anything was wrong. Did I make mistakes? Absolutely I did. But so did he. He was trashing me and making sure to lift himself up to everyone else. And what o also found out is that people that were nice to my face were encouraging my husband to get rid of me. To split apart his family.
Our story didn’t start in Pocatello, Idaho. It didn’t start when we moved here in 2006. That’s when some of the people he associates with now met us. But we started many years before that. So for people to pretend that they know what our marriage has been since the beginning and feel the need to judge either of us . . . they honestly have no idea! They don’t know us. They know the man that turned his back. They know the big things but not the little things that led to them.
I’m done. I’m done reading the hate. I’m done feeling Satan’s power through his conduits. I’m a good person and I plan on remaining a good person. And I’m not letting it destroy me and I’m not going to continue to doubt myself.
