Hhhmmn, what do I say tonight? Tonight has been a pretty painful night. I’m not sure why it still hurts so much. Maybe because he has no compassion for the mother of his children. No loyalty to the woman he has been with for 23 years. But he lets another woman dictate how he treats me and what he does with and for me. That this woman could come in and just take everything that is mine and have no remorse for it. To prove his loyalty to her he treats the mother of his children like complete garbage. He won’t even talk to me. He won’t even look at me. He has turned everyone against me just to prove his loyalty to a horrible woman that caused the death of her husband by being a cheater. He isn’t even the first person she has cheated with. And he thinks she will be faithful to him? He told me they had stopped talking. I don’t even believe that they ever had stopped talking.
He knows I won’t let Sophie around her. He chose her over Sophie. His choice 100%. My biggest pain is that this man that has been her father since the day she was born has left her. Has decided she isn’t important enough. But this woman has treated me horribly and has convinced my husband to treat me horribly. So I have to say I won’t have my daughter around someone that manipulative and evil. He chooses to keep her in his life then he is choosing to lose Sophie. And that kills me. She loves him so much. I would keep the other kids away too if I could. But with them I don’t have a choice. But Sophie loses. In this situation she loses. She is the innocent victim. She’s the one that gets hurt. Because losing her obviously isn’t hurting him.
She is not the mother of my children. She has no right to be in their lives. You would think that when you move on after divorce you would find someone that would treat the mother/father of your children with respect. But in our situation that is not the case. She treats me badly and he defends her. And then he treats me worse to prove his loyalty. She dictates what I deserve in the divorce. Well reality check is 50%! I deserve 50%! He gives me credit for nothing. That’s how egotistical he is.
So why does it hurt? I’ve seen better. I know there is better out there. In fact I went to Seattle last weekend to see a friend from my past. I had doors opened for me, I got to do what I wanted to do, and was treated with respect the whole weekend. He was a gentleman and didn’t expect anything from me. Jerame always expects sex when he’s nice for a day. I was able to relax and feel special and I felt so refreshed when I got back to Pocatello. He paid attention to me. The weekend was all about me. So I have seen how a man should treat a woman and Jerame was rarely that.
So why does it still hurt that he has absolutely no remorse or care for my feelings? Probably because this is not the man I know. He has become a mean and vindictive person. To please another woman he has done everything he can to try to destroy me in every way.
That’s why this is so painful. He hasn’t only betrayed me he has completely abandoned the child he said he loved as his own. Ouch.
